Los Spurs

Spurs rule.

Los Spurs don't.

Today is March 6, the anniversary of the Battle of the Alamo. One hundred seventy-two years ago Santa Anna and Co. topped off a 13 day siege of the Alamo with a final assault of hand-to-hand combat. It took three hours to polish off most of the Texas soldiers at the Alamo. But Texans got the last laugh a month later when they surprised Santa Anna's forces at San Jacinto, and The Republic of Texas was born.

So even though Mexico won the Battle of the Alamo, the battle is regarded as an integral battle in what ultimately lead to Texas Independence. And white boys have been running the show in Texas ever since.

So doesn't it seem like an odd day for the Spurs to celebrate their Latin American fan base by wearing uniforms that say Los Spurs?

Don't get me wrong. I get why they went with a Spanish-themed jersey. Two of the Spurs' players are Argentinian and one of them, Manu Ginobli, is wildly popular. And San Antonio prides itself on its Mexican heritage. So a Spanish-based Spurs jersey makes sense. But maybe having the Spurs market and wear these jerseys in December rather than March 6 makes even more sense.

But that's not what really seems odd to me. My issue is that phrase "Los Spurs" makes even less sense.

First of all, it's not as if their regular uniforms say "THE SPURS" on the front. They just say "SPURS." So the "Los" makes no sense.

Instead, if they wanted a true Spanish version of the uniform it should just say "Spurs" in Spanish. I should look it up, but isn't espuela how you spur in Spanish? Maybe el patron de Los Spurs (Peter Holt, I mean Senor Pedro Holt) didn't want to do that because "Los Spurs" would have to be "Las Espuelas."

A team of 12 tough guys with a feminine ending? I don't think so.

As it stands, I know of no language where "Los Spurs" means anything.

Katrina Inc.

I have ranted previously about the lip service pro sports pays to the re-building of New Orleans.

Now it's someone else's turn. Click here to read Buck Harvey's take on the NBA's PR campaign in New Orleans this weekend, as part of its All-Star Game festivities.

After reading the story, it seems like a lot of the players do want to help and do something, while the corporate side of the NBA doesn't care as long as it looks like its athletes are helping. But don't take my word for it. Below is an excerpt from Buck Harvey's column.

But that's part of the disconnect about this weekend. The NBA had its dunk contests and opulence, and at the same time the league wanted to portray itself as a civic partner.

The league helped post-Katrina New Orleans just by bringing the All-Star Game here. But the "NBA Cares" program has always had the sincerity of a political-campaign photo op, and a marketing idea added to that. Then the league mailed work gloves to the media, when a house in the 9th Ward could have been rebuilt for the price.

The gloves were to promote a Day of Service, which involved putting millionaires to work with cameras nearby. A picture of Jason Kidd on ESPN.com summed up the so-called service; standing on a ladder, Kidd was surrounded by, among other devices, a boom mic.

But some athletes like to be involved, and Yao Ming was...

Click here for the whole story. Oh yeah, and Spurs rule.

Mikestradamus

Well that was a fun Super Bowl to watch. I am sure there are a handful of people out there celebrating how they predicted the Giants to win the whole time. Of course, no one can be happier or could have been more accurate than Plaxico Burress, the New York Giants wide receiver who a) caught the game winning touchdown and b) predicted earlier in the week his team would win 23-17, which caused the Patriots to mock his brashness.

The final score? Giants 17, Patriots 14. No one could have been more accurate than his prediction.

That being said, anyone can guess and sometimes get right the Super Bowl winner. In fact, some camel in New Jersey predicted nine of this year's 11 playoff games correctly, including the Giants win tonight over the Patriots.

Speaking of animals doing things that humans do....

The close reader of this blog will note that I inadvertently came absurdly close to predicting the outcome of tonight's Budweiser commercial. I'm talking about the ad where a dalmation trains a clydesdale to get in good enough shape to become a Budweiser clydesdale (set to Rocky music). In the end, the horse makes the Budweiser team, and ends up giving the dog a high five.

Those of you who know me well, or have read my rants before, know I hate, hate, hate ads that have animals acting like people. It's trite, overdone, and quite frankly, really lazy writing on behalf of the ad agencies. Yet people must love these ads because they continue.

So, I ranted about this before, and in that rant, I almost incidentally predicted the dog on horse high-five. See for yourself. Seventh sentence/fragment. Third paragraph. It's all there. Back then I even made it one of the labels for the post, just as I did for this one. Granted, I never said "horses high fiving a dog," but I came about as close in my prediction as Plaxico did in prediction of the score.

This would be from October 4, 2007

I can't stand commercials with animals acting like people. I blame CGI and the Super Bowl for the mainsteaming of this style of TV advertising

This evening during 30 Rock or The Office there was some ad with a bunch of monkies riverdancing. Really? Is that the best our creative talent, earning six figures can do?

I left the room half way through the ad. I did this in part out of protest, but also to get some more food. So I don't know what the ad was about. But it doesn't matter. Cheetas doing the macarena. HORSES HIGH FIVING. Penguins riding their Harlies to Sturgis. A squirrel farts and points to the squirrel next to him to pass the blame. It took me 30 seconds to come up with those ideas. They all suck, but some hybrid of these ideas will air during our next Super Bowl. When will it stop?!?!?!

Me and Plaxico. We should go into the psychic business with Dionne Warwick.

Four Things Don't Make Sense To me

I'm not implying that these things don't make sense. They just don't make sense to me. Maybe it's because I ain't too bright.

1. Budweiser has launched an ad campaign that gives off the appearance of a brewmaster giving us a lecture on beer in the social room of his microbrewery. He holds up a glass of Budweiser to the light and remarks on its beauty and clarity. He says something to the effect of "See how clear it is? A darker beer can hide impurities. This beer can't."

Maybe there is someone who knows more about beer than I who can set me straight. But this makes no sense to me. First of all, using his logic, Zima is the greatest alchoholic beverage ever.

Secondly, all beer, outside of Guiness, is translucent. Whatever "impurities" he's worried about could be found by holding most any beer up to the light.


Thirdly, and here is where I must plead ignorance, what impurities does he fear? And can they really be detected by holding beer up to light? Are we talking about a mouse in a beer bottle?

2. The crux of Hillary Clinton's campaign is that she is the most experienced candidate among the Democrats. Once you look past Edwards' and Obama' charisma and energy, what you see are two guys way too naive and inexperienced to run a super power.

One problem, though. While she's touting the importance of experience and downplaying eloquence and charm, Bill Clinton is often standing right next to her. Does anybody remember what Bill Clinton's strengths and weaknesses were as a candidate for President in 1992? I think they were eloquence, charm, and inexperience. It seems like a bad idea to have a living, breathing example standing right next to you, inadvertently contradicting your argument that experience matters.

3. Did anyone see Roger Clemens on 60 Minutes last night? One of the things he said was he works out three freaking times a day. So he doesn't need steroids to be in such good shape, even though he is over 40.

One problem: he's over 40. There's only one way I know of that a 40 year old body can withstand three workouts a day without breaking down. Take steroids.

Granted, I'm not a professional athelete, but I have been athletic most of my life. And now at age 36, I fall apart if I workout seven times a week, let alone 21. I think that by saying his body can withstand three workouts a day, he has basically piled more suspicion on himself that his on steroids. Oops.

4. What the hell is Ohio State doing in the national title game?

Rant Emily is Sick Of #893909

Is anyone else bothered by the commercials Visa has been running designed to make the use of cash seem obsolete, old, and lame? These ads have been bothering me for a long time. I know Emily has seen them, because she has been listening to me rail agaisnt them everytime we see one.

Well apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way. Click here to read exactly why these ads bother me. It mirrors the rant I would have written, only the link provided is written in a much more concise and informed fashion.

The ad that really bothers me is one that features the New Orleans Saints. The ad shows a bunch of football fans in New Orleans marching around alive and well. New Orleans is back! Life is good!

Nevermind that New Orleans' post-Katrina population is less than 60% of its pre-Katrina level. Apparently we are all supposed to feel things in New Orleans are going GREAT because they have a pro football team. So New Orleans is now some feel good story just because it has pro sports and conventions. Doesn't that trivialize and gloss over the fact that city has a long way to go before it can be put back together again. Or the fact that in 2005 freaking corpses were floating in the streets?

END RANT HERE

Rant #83482

I can't stand commercials with animals acting like people. I blame CGI and the Super Bowl for the mainsteaming of this style of TV advertising.

This evening during 30 Rock or The Office there was some ad with a bunch of monkies riverdancing. Really? Is that the best our creative talent, earning six figures can do?

I left the room half way through the ad. I did this in part out of protest, but also to get some more food. So I don't know what the ad was about. But it doesn't matter. Cheetas doing the macarena. Horses high fiving. Penguins riding their Harlies to Sturgis. A squirrel farts and points to the squirrel next to him to pass the blame. It took me 30 seconds to come up with those ideas. They all suck, but some hybrid of these ideas will air during our next Super Bowl. When will it stop?!?!?!

Maybe rather than boycotting Caribou, I can boycott all businesses that run these ads.

And I know that if I had Tevo this rant would die a quick death.

As an aside, I give both The Office and 30 Rock three out of five stars.

Bye Bye 'Bou

Over the years I have devoted a few posts to the trivia questions you can answer at Caribou Coffee. For those with poor memory and not from the Twin Cities, here is a review. You go into Caribou, order your drink, and if you answer their trivia question correctly, you get ten whopping cents off your drink.

Only a hyper-competetive freak would worry about these questions, see how many consecutive questions he can answer correctly, and argue with the cashier when he or she tells him his answer is wrong.

Hey, that would describe me. Just click here or here if you need a refresher.

So we'll call President-On-Currency-Gate and CapeHornGate STRIKE ONE against Caribou.

So about six months ago, I went into the Caribou in Highland Park on my way to work. The trivia question was "What basketball legend is used as the model for the NBA logo?" Awesome I think. My streak is up to seven. Here's what went down after that.

Me: I'll get a large light roast, and the answer to the trivia is Jerry West.
Cashier: Ooooooh... sorry (all sympathetic like). It's Pete Maravich.
Me: No it's not. It's Jerry West.
Cashier: I know. Everyone keeps saying that, but it's Pete Maravich.
Me: Everyone keeps saying that because it's the right answer.
Cashier: Sorry.
Me: Pete Maravich played for LSU and the New Orleans Jazz and he died young. His nickname was "Pistol Pete." Jerry West's nickname is "The Logo." There's a reason he has that nickname.
Cashier: Sorry. I can only go by what the card says.
Me: Then you should change the question to "What random basketball star from the 1970s is on this card?"

And, yes I know I should have let this go about two conversational turns ago. I'm holding up the line. I'm arguing over a dime. I really only want to get my consecutive correct answers streak up to double digits again. And well, I'm being an asshole.

So I relent. Pay my extra dime. But I'm keeping score here. That's STRIKE TWO on Caribou. I swore off Caribou trivia after that ugly episode. After that even when I knew the answer, I wouldn't participate. I just don't need the stress in my life.

And then on Monday I went to Caribou with two crumpled dollar bills in my pocket. I ordered my usual large coffee and was charged $2.03. Say what?

Cashier (not my enemy from logogate): We raised our prices over the weekend.

Well, Caribou will haveto reach that coveted price point without me. I had to go out to my car and get a dime from the change holder.

A buck ninety-three for coffee? No problem. But more than two bucks? Not unless I'm going to sit down with friends to enjoy the conversation and atmosphere.

So they upped their price a dime. What is it with me and dimes at this place?

But think about this. The dime discount for trivia has been in effect since I moved here over 11 years ago. A large coffee was around $1.50. It was worth your time. So their trivia discount should be proportional to their price increase. Is fifteen to twenty cents too much to ask?

I guess so. Over $2.00 for black coffee. STRIKE THREE.

I usually buy coffee at the coffee shop once or twice during the weekdays and once on the weekend. Now I am going to make sure I make my coffee at home five to six days a week. And if I do have to buy coffee during the workweek it will be at SuperAmerica. It only costs $1.06 there.

And they don't have trivia.